Healing Is A Form Of Self Love | Shadow Work, Inner Child Healing, Boundaries & Emotional Release

Healing isn’t always candles and affirmations. Sometimes it looks like crying in a restaurant bathroom. Sometimes it looks like setting boundaries, saying no, quitting what drains you, or finally facing the wounds you’ve been avoiding.

In this episode of The Woo in You Podcast, we explore how healing is one of the deepest forms of self-love.

I share my personal journey through shadow work, inner child healing, emotional suppression, alcohol patterns, codependency, burnout, and learning to honor my boundaries — including the bold decision to stick to my boundaries to protect my energy.

Inside this episode:

• What healing really looks like (and why it’s not always pretty)

• Shadow work prompts & beginner journal recommendations

• The power of boundaries and protecting your energy

• Meditation, sound baths & somatic release for emotional healing

• Why healing is non-linear and happens in layers

If you’ve been struggling with anxiety, people-pleasing, burnout, abandonment wounds, neglect wounds, or feeling “behind” on your healing journey — this episode is your reminder: you are not broken. You are healing.

Plus, learn about our upcoming Meditation in Motion self-love event and ways to begin your own self-healing practice today.

Take a deep breath. Your healing journey is allowed to begin right now.

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Intro and Outro music credit to: ⁠Denys Brodovskyi

Transcript:

0:04

Can I get a woo woo? Welcome to the Woo Woo and You podcast. I am your host B Marie. And if you love all things manifestation, sound healing, auras,

0:13

13 seconds

tarot, astrology, numerology, or anything else considered woo, then you are in the right spot. So sit back,

0:21

relax, and let's dive in.

0:34

We all know that healing isn't always pretty. It doesn't always look like candles and affirmations.

0:41

Sometimes it looks like rest, boundaries, crying, screaming, rage, dancing, journaling,

0:49

and honesty. I know some people may feel like they're broken, but the truth is you are not broken. You are wounded.

0:57

And when you can look at your wounds for what they are, you can begin to heal.

1:02

February is known as a month of love, of course, for Valentine's Day. Showing love to other people, your significant

1:11

partner, whatever the case may be. But a lot of the times we don't give ourselves love.

1:19

So this month in honor of February, this podcast is going to be about self-love.

1:27

Turning the attention towards yourself.

1:32

Self-healing is a self relationship. I didn't realize that I myself needed healing until I took a manifestation

1:40

course, thinking that I was getting into the course to help manifest my best life ever. But what I got instead was even

1:50

better than I could imagined. It was looking at myself, my wounds, and my triggers,

1:59

and helping to heal everything.

2:02

So, when I first got into the manifestation class back in 2023,

2:09

I used to drink pretty heavily. Um, I was a very social drinker, especially in my 20s. I was always going out,

2:20

drinking, having a good time. And then my late 20s,

2:26

I decided that I wanted to get a divorce. And I kind of went through a dark night of the soul. I was very, very

2:34

low at that point in my life. I didn't know what I wanted to do. So, at that point, I was drinking extremely heavily.

2:42

Not only was I drinking just on the weekends anymore or just with friends,

2:48

after work, I would have a drink. When I go out to a restaurant, I would have a drink. Anytime I was going out, I was

2:55

also having a drink. And not only was I doing that, but I was also drinking on an empty stomach, meaning I did not eat

3:03

while I was drinking. So, if I knew I was going to be drinking, I would typically eat a good lunch and then from, you know, maybe four or five,

3:14

whatever time I started to drink, I would not eat. I would not eat until I was actually done with drinking because I didn't want it to quote unquote ruin

3:23

my buzz. And if you had asked me back then, I wouldn't have said that that was necessarily a problem. I always joked

3:30

around saying like if I run out of a drink then that's the problem, right? I

3:38

didn't realize I had a problem. But then one day after working on myself, my

3:45

triggers, my wounds, I woke up one day and realized that I don't drink as much,

3:52

right? I don't go out and have to have a glass of wine or beer or whatever the

3:59

case may be. I don't drink every weekend anymore.

4:04

And if I do have a drink, it's usually just one or two glasses. It's not to the point of where I am blacking out or I'm waking up with a hangover. And trust me,

4:15

I do not miss those hangovers at all. I would say that right there has been the

4:22

absolute best thing. Not waking up with a headache or feeling like the next day. Um or you know wasting half my day feeling just terrible.

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Now I can just go and have a drink every once in a while, maybe two glasses of wine, but really that's been it. So what changed, right? Like what did I do?

4:47

Well, the manifestation course um it really did a lot of inner child work. It did a lot of shadow work. There was a

4:55

lot of journaling, a lot of crying, a lot of um rage dancing and shaking and

5:02

meditations and really just sitting with myself and the emotions and just letting them come out and letting them be felt

5:11

because that was the first time I actually let my feelings out because before that if I was feeling sad or

5:18

feeling like I wanted to cry, I would literally bottle it up. There's times that I can remember like feeling like I

5:26

wanted to cry and I would look up at the sky because I knew if you looked up you're, you know, you can't produce

5:33

tears, you can't cry or it helps stop crying, right? So that's what I would do a lot of the times. So bottling all that up, not letting it out is probably,

5:46

you know, why I turned to drinking. You know, I like I said, I used to drink so much and I didn't even realize it. And

5:55

you know, you may not realize you have a problem either, whether that's with drinking or with anything else. You know, there there's other ways to

6:03

comfort yourself other than drink. You could turn to food, you could turn to drugs, you could turn to toxic relationships.

6:12

Um there's just so many other things that you, you know, if you have a lot of anxiety or stress or whatever the case

6:19

may be, like that's kind of where like you're bottling up your emotions and not sitting with them and just being with them and letting them visit you for a

6:28

while and then releasing them, letting them go and letting yourself heal. You know, if you feel like you have any of

6:35

these like stuck patterns, you feel, you know, very anxious or you are turning to something like food or drink, it may be

6:44

time to let yourself heal. Let yourself sit in emotions that I know can be

6:51

scary. A lot of people don't want to cry. They see crying as a weakness when

6:59

actually it's not weakness. It's okay to cry. It's okay to feel whatever emotion you are feeling because emotion needs to

7:08

be moved out of the body. That is the only way you can process and let things

7:15

go. So, how can we start to heal ourselves? What are some easy ways that we can just start to look at things?

7:27

Right? So journaling has been for me a really good place to start because there are many many shadow work workbooks out

7:36

there that you can buy. So one of the shadow work books that I started using was the shadow work journal by Khal Shaheen. If I'm pronouncing that right,

7:47

I will link this. Um, but I found this at Target and this was a really good way to just kind of help me with the work

7:57

that I had already been doing. But this is a really good starting point for you if you are a beginner in shadow work.

8:05

You know, it'll help you with, you know,

8:06

if you have any trust wounds, right? Are you afraid to be hurt? Are you having issue like trust issues with other

8:15

people? If you have any like guilt wound, like do you say sorry a lot? Do you apologize for everything? Do you

8:22

feel bad for everything? Are you a people pleaser? Do you not like asking for things? Right? Like that's that's the guilt wound. Or do you have a

8:31

neglect wound? Like do you struggle to let things go? Do you get angry easily?

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Do you struggle to say no to things? Do you not put up your own boundaries and actually stick with them? Do you attract

8:44

people in your relationships that don't make you feel seen? Right? Like the neglect wound for me was um one of the

8:52

bigger ones as well as the abandonment wound which makes you feel like you're being left out of things or if you fear

9:00

that you're going to be left alone or if you're very codependent. I believe in some of my relationships I was

9:07

codependent and I had to like really face that and accept that okay yes I'm

9:14

doing XYZ and that's not healthy. Um so with this book it will give you some

9:20

exercises some reflection questions like fill in the blank type of things

9:27

affirmations and some of these questions you know may make you cry. I know for me like sitting there just reflecting on

9:35

the question and answering it really um brought up emotion that I didn't even

9:42

realize I had with particular things. So that's one easy way that you can start

9:49

to just kind of work on yourself and show yourself some selflove and to start

9:56

to heal your your wounds, right, and your triggers. We're going to take a quick pause for a moment and I want to

10:04

let you know that this month, February 22nd, 2:00 p.m. Eastern Standard Time or

10:12

1:00 p.m. Central, The Woo in You is hosting a live group Zoom event. It's

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going to be a meditation in motion session.

10:24

So this is this session is really going to help you get out of your mind and into your body and let your bo body freely express what it needs to express.

10:35

So this group session is going to begin with grounding and gentle guidance from our intuitive Lindsay. She's going to

10:43

help you feel safe and supported right now where you are. Then music will be introduced so you can start to move your

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body intuitively and it's going to be starting with small simple movements. Um and then you're gradually going to be

10:59

allowing your body to open up into larger expressions and this will all be at your own pace. So this month is going to be focusing on self-love. Of course,

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you're going to be learning to trust your body, meeting yourself with compassion, and allowing yourself just to move and express yourself without any

11:18

judgment. So, Lindsay will guide you through this whole experience. But of course, you are encouraged to listen to

11:25

your body, right? And just express what it needs to in that moment. So, if you would like to attend this live group session, again,

11:35

this will be February 22nd. That is a Sunday, 2:00 pm Eastern Standard Time,

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100 p.m. Central time. And you can save your spot by going to the woo.com

11:49

and seeing the event page and then um you can save your spot there. This is a donationbased offering. So you can

11:58

decide how much you would like to exchange. We also accept other energy exchanges. So if you have a service that you provide and you would like to

12:05

exchange that with us, you can contact us and we would love to hear more about it. So I will leave the link to register

12:14

for the meditation in motion session down below in the show notes. And when you register, just make sure you use the

12:22

right email because there will be a replay link. So, if you cannot join the session live, we will email you the

12:29

replay so you can replay it later and do it when you do actually have time.

12:34

Another thing that you can do is meditations or sound baths. And I know a lot of people have this thing where they're like, I just can't meditate.

12:43

Like, I get in my head way too much. Yes, I am still actually the same way.

12:49

It takes me a while to actually be able to quiet my mind and really get into a place where it is quiet and I can like

12:58

go on go on a journey basically. So if you do find yourself having trouble with like quiet meditation, you can always

13:06

start out with sound meditation which which helps you to just kind of quiet the mind for you because you're concentrating on listening to the sound.

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Right? So, there's plenty of things on YouTube. You can look up, you know,

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sound sound baths. Um, we also here at the Woo and You, we do sound meditation.

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So, you can look on our YouTube page or our insight page. So, if you have the insight timer, you can also look up.

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There's so many different types of sound meditation out there. We are on there as well. So that's another way that you can

13:45

just start to quiet your mind and go within. Other ways that you can start to heal yourself is putting up your

13:54

boundaries. What is not feeling good to you? Right? Are you a type of person that says yes to everything because you

14:02

feel like you have to say yes to everything or because you actually want to say yes to everything? If you're doing things and just saying yes to

14:10

absolutely everything, eventually you're going to feel burnt out, especially if you're, you know, working plus maybe you

14:18

have children, um, plus whatever else is going on in your life, right? And then you're saying yes to absolutely everything. Start putting up boundaries

14:27

and saying no to the things that do not resonate with you. If one of your friends askked you to go out on a weekend and maybe you've had a really

14:36

busy week and you're you really need rest this weekend, don't say yes. Like plain and simple,

14:44

don't say yes. Just be like no, you know, no thank you. Um I'm going to catch up on my rest this weekend or whatever the case may be. Don't feel

14:53

like you have to constantly keep saying yes to everything because that will burn you out so quickly. And that was another thing that I used to do as well. I used

15:00

to say yes to a lot of things even though I really didn't want to do them. But now I have learned to just say no.

15:07

Like if I don't feel like doing something, I am going to say no to it. And I'm not going to feel bad about it.

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It's just like no, I am putting myself first. How I feel, what my body needs,

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what my mind needs, what I need physically, mentally, spiritually,

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emotionally, everything. Right? I am putting myself first. And that is self-love. That is not selfish. That is

15:30

self-love because you cannot give on an empty cup, right? If your cup is not

15:37

full, if you don't feel good, how are you going to give to other people? You can't, right? So, just learning your own

15:47

boundaries and start saying no unapologetically.

15:51

And I can give you another example of when I actually started to put up my boundary for my own self. So, I used to

15:59

work at a full-time job. A lot of the times I would get off later than I was actually supposed to. So, say if my

16:06

schedule was up to 3:30, sometimes I would be getting off at like 5 or six because I had to do extra things, right?

16:14

So, my full-time job was a little more than 40 hours a week. On average, I would say I was getting maybe up to 45,

16:22

right? And I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but for me as a projector in human design, which that will be another

16:29

topic for another time, but as a projector, my energy is not the type to go go, right? I am the type of person that I need rest. I need lots of rest,

16:39

right? So, I've never really wanted to work a full-time job to begin with. I've always been the type to want to work

16:47

part-time um or just do something that I love. And for me, while I was working that full-time job, I was a driver. So,

16:55

I ended up getting plantar fasciitis really bad in my driving foot. So, I asked if I could be part-time. And I asked to work just 3 days a week, which

17:05

was agreed to. And during that time that I was only working 3 days a week, I felt so much better, not just physically, but

17:13

mentally, emotionally as well, because my phone was not ringing as much anymore because they would, you know, call you and say, "Hey, you need to go, you know,

17:22

pick up XYZ or drop off XYZ, whatever."

17:26

the fact that I was only working three days a week and me realizing that that's what I've always wanted, like I wanted I

17:34

wanted to work less hours, right? That was a boundary for me that I didn't realize that I was pushing because the normal quote unquote status quo, right,

17:44

is work 40 hours a week. But for me,

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that just pushed me and my boundaries kind of where I don't I don't feel my

17:55

best. I don't feel good. I'm constantly tired, right? I would come home and crash on the couch and that's all I would do. And then the weekends, of

18:04

course, I'm just catching up on what I need to catch up on. Errands, cleaning the house, laundry, um that type of

18:11

thing. So, with me working part-time, I realized that, wow, I feel so much

18:19

better. I'm so much less stressed. I physically feel better. like my body is starting to heal from the plantar

18:25

fasciitis um and all of the things. So I decided that I wanted to stay part-time

18:34

and at that particular job they wanted me full-time and I was just like no I put up my boundary and I stuck to it. I

18:41

was like no um you know that that's not right for me. I I just feel better working part-time. So, they eventually

18:50

let me go. Um, after probably about 6 months of being part-time, um, they let me go and I took that so hard. It was

18:59

literally like a breakup for me. I I was in such like, oh no. Like, I loved that

19:05

job. It was fun to me. It was something different most days. So, I was really

19:12

heartbroken when I lost that job. at the same time something better was coming right and I didn't know that at the time

19:20

but after about a month or two or maybe even less I don't remember is kind of when I started the woowoo um because I

19:29

was like well I'm job searching at the moment and it's kind of around the holidays so you know I might not have

19:37

anything work-wise until after the holiday so I had a couple of months so I

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decided to um you know just start working on the woowoo and that's what I did. And if it was not for me like

19:53

putting up my boundary and saying no I am not going to work full-time anymore and I'm going to work part-time. I would not have helped build this business.

20:02

These podcasts probably would not be up here. all the products and services that we have on the website probably would

20:11

not be up there because when I was working full-time, like I said, I was just too tired. I wouldn't have been able to make sound baths. And if I did

20:20

make a sound bath, then it probably would have felt um the energy just would have felt off because I would have been

20:27

tired. Because every time I make a product for the Woo, I make sure that I feel my best. I'm not going to put my low energy if I'm feeling tired, upset,

20:39

or whatever the case is into a product because that's not what I want. So,

20:44

really sticking to my boundaries has kind of pushed me into the life that I

20:50

am currently creating and I know that in the future it's going to be even better because I'm going to have even more time

20:58

to work on the woowoo. So at this current moment I am working but I am working part-time. So when I was looking

21:06

21 minutes, 6 seconds

for my next job I literally was looking for part-time only. And I told that to the person that I got interviewed by and

21:14

initially they actually wanted me to be full-time. And again for the new job I said cuz they sent me over after my

21:22

initial interview they had sent me over um you know the offer letter. And I was like cool great. And I was about to be

21:30

like, "Okay, let's go for it." And I read it and it said full-time hours. And I was like, "Wait, wait, wait, no, no,

21:36

no. This is not what we agreed to." And they were like, "Well, just in case you want to be full-time." And I was like,

21:42

"No, no. I'm not being full-time. I do not want to be full-time." So, that job actually fell through because they were

21:52

actually looking for someone who wanted to be full-time. So, of course, I was very bummed about that for a little while. And then about I'd say about two

22:00

months later, I got a call back from them and they said, "Hey, um, we actually do have a part-time position

22:08

opening. Do you still are you still interested?" So, I said, "Sure." Um, so I interviewed with someone else again

22:15

and I got the job and it was part-time as I wanted and it was something similar to what I had done um, previously, which

22:23

was just driving. So really setting up and sticking to my boundaries has really taught me that it is better for me to do that and to do that unapologetically,

22:34

right? Because that's what's best for me and my body. Nobody knows what's best for you except for you. People can have their opinions and their thoughts and

22:43

their little two cents, but only you know what feels good for you. What actually feels good for you. If it's

22:52

working 40 plus hours a week, great, do that. If working part-time feels good to

22:59

you, great, do that, right? So, just start setting up your boundaries. That's another small way that you can just

23:06

start loving on yourself and showing yourself how much you love yourself. And once you keep doing small little things like that for yourself, you will begin

23:16

to do them more and more. So, you will begin to put up more boundaries that feel good. You'll begin to meditate if

23:23

that feels good. You will begin to journal if that feels good to you.

23:27

You'll begin to, you know, move your energy and your emotions out of your body cuz that always feels good. I know

23:36

in the moment, like when you're crying and you're like really ugly crying and you've got, you know, tissues all over

23:43

the place, it's not pretty. It doesn't feel good. But at the other end, when you are done, you will feel so much

23:50

better. Trust me, I have been there. I have done it. And I can tell you, there have been times when I have ugly cried

23:58

so hard for a good like 5 10 minutes and then all of a sudden I stop and I'm I'm

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asking myself, I'm like, "Am I done? Is that it?" And I get like, "Yeah, you're done. That's it." And I feel so much

24:12

better. So much better. And I'm just like, "Wow, I'm so glad I took 5 10 minutes to cry or even there has been times where I've cried maybe 30 minutes,

24:24

which actually is a fun story. I got triggered once and um we were actually out to a restaurant and I needed to cry.

24:34

Like I was so triggered. I was so annoyed, so frustrated

And we had to wait for our table." And finally the lady took us to our table.

24:43

So when she took us to our table, that is when I was like, "Okay, I'm going to the bathroom." And I went to the bathroom and I cried. And I probably stayed in there about 20, 30 minutes. I

24:51

don't even know. But I just let myself have that time to just cry and feel my feelings and get it out of my system.

25:00

Because if you don't, if you just bottle it up, like I said, that's when you're going to turn to things that are

25:07

unhealthy for you. And that energy is going to be stuck in your body. And if it does stay stuck in your body for a long period of time, like over the

25:15

years, that can manifest into physical illness. So, you want to make sure that you are getting that out of your body and releasing it and letting it go.

25:27

So, I'm going to leave you with this. I want you to think of one small little act of self-love that you can begin doing. What can you do for yourself?

25:40

what feels good to you. And even if it's little small things that you start out with like eating better, drinking more

25:48

water, just moving your body, that is that is going to help you in the long run. But if you want to dig deeper and

25:58

do journaling or meditations, then I invite you to visit us on our YouTube or

26:06

insight timer and listen to some of our sound baths and meditations there. And I will link them down below. You can also

26:14

start with some affirmations for self-love. So I'm going to read you a couple from the shadow workbook. So all

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you have to do is repeat with me. I am worthy of love and respect from myself and others.

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I am worthy of love and respect from myself and others.

26:35

I love myself deeply and unconditionally.

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I love myself deeply and unconditionally.

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I choose to see the beauty and strength within me.

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I choose to see the beauty and strength within me. And of course, you can always make your own affirmations. And with

26:57

affirmations, if you like, you can like write them down. And then what I like to do is I have one on my mirror. So I have

27:06

one on my mirror. So every day that I'm looking in the mirror, I see that and I remind myself and I read it as I'm, you know, getting ready, brushing my hair,

27:14

doing whatever. So that is one way you can um start to show little little acts of self-love. Another way you can begin

27:23

this process is by writing yourself a love letter. Just expressing everything that you need to hear right now and just

27:31

having compassion for yourself and whatever you're going through at the moment. So, just write a little love

27:38

love letter to yourself. And then whenever you're feeling a little bit down or you're having a bad day, open it

27:44

up and read it. And then one last little um reflection question that I want to leave you with is what does your body

27:53

need right now that you have been ignoring?

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Just take a moment and reflect on that question. or if you're driving and you're listening to this, maybe come back to this later, but just get quiet

28:08

for a moment if you can and just listen to your body. What does it need right now? What have you been ignoring that your body needs?

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Is it movement? Is it hydration? Is it rest?

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Is it good, nourishing food? Is it something else?

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I just want to remind you that healing is not going to be a linear process. Okay? There's going to be ups and downs.

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It's going to feel like a roller coaster. There are times that you may feel like you've healed something, but then maybe a year or two goes by and

28:50

then something pops up and you realize you have not fully healed that, right?

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Because healing comes in layers. Um, and trust me when I say this because there are things that I thought I had healed and I think I have healed some of it,

29:07

but then something pops up and I'm like,

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"Oh, actually, you know, there's another layer to that." So, healing is definitely a journey. It's layer by

29:16

layer and honestly I don't think it ever ends because you know things will come

29:22

up in life that happen and you know you may need to heal from from it right so I

29:29

honestly don't think this is a an end journey right like this is going to be a continuous journey but if you do start

29:38

to heal yourself and listen to your body and what it needs and how you feel and

29:46

your emotions, you're definitely going to be feeling better overall. So, just remember, you're not behind on your

29:54

healing journey. You can start healing yourself at any point that you choose to do it, right? Nobody can do the healing for you. Nobody can answer the question,

30:05

the like journal questions. Nobody can meditate for you or do a sound bath for you or um listen to your body or your

30:15

feelings for you. Like I said, people will have opinions, but only you know what's best. So, I invite you to just

30:23

start listening to your body, start listening to your emotions. All right,

30:29

that was probably a little bit of a heavier um episode this month. So, I want you to

30:36

take one deep inhale in through the nose and into your belly. Are you ready?

30:45

Inhaling, holding at the top and exhaling.

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Beautiful. Beautiful. If you feel like you need to do another deep breath, go ahead. But um with that being said, I

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cannot wait to see you for March's episode.

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Thank you so much for tuning in today.

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If you would like the links to anything that was discussed, please see the show notes or of course you can visit our website at www.thewooinyou.com

31:20

or you can follow us on Instagram and Tik Tok at the woo woo in you for more woo.